


how do i love

by thosepurpleskies



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gods & Goddesses, F/F, Fluff and Angst, jinsoul as adonis reincarnated, sooyoung as aphrodite, we all deserve more yvesoul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:29:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28981896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thosepurpleskies/pseuds/thosepurpleskies
Summary: through jinsoul, sooyoung learns what love is, and it’s far from immaculate.
Relationships: Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	how do i love

sooyoung exists before shimmering golden tapestries had adorned marble walls. as aphrodite she has seen the rise and falls of empires, has watched the fragile red strings of fate unravel into a tangled spiderweb of heartaches, has witnessed the barren wasteland which had been olympus before gleaming palaces and hazy candied skies.

"yet you don't know what love is. you don't know how to love." hephaestus tugs her close to him and holds her in place with a steel grip around her dainty wrist, a venomous hiss in her ears.

“you must be joking dear hephaestus. i am the goddess of love and the very embodiment of the emotion.” sooyoung purses her lips and places a hand against blazing heat of hephaestus' armour, impatiently pushing him out of her way.

she thinks of her beloved adonis. of bronzed skin, of glimmering hazel eyes and of anemones that bloomed with each crimson droplet that had fallen to the earth.

i know love because i have lost in love.

over the next millennia sooyoung finds herself with mere ghosts - nameless and faceless mortals that are left behind without a single backwards glance when the inevitable occurs. they twist and spiral through the balmy midnight air, slipping through her fingers like wisps of smoke. with the extinguishment of each wisp, their whispers echo within the darkest crevices of her thoughts, and sooyoung begins to lose faith in everything she stands for.

"you’re cruel. you bring destruction and turmoil wherever you go." 

“…a disgrace aphrodite…you make a mockery of love with your deceitfulness.”

she wants to scream, i don’t think i know how to love anymore. in fact she doesn’t even know whether she deserves her title anymore because there's an emptiness within her chest, a fissure where her heart had previously been, and a dull throb that haunts her every waking moment. and when sooyoung imagines her thread within the withered hands of the fates it’s a faded threadbare grey that had once been a gleaming silver.

and it’s how she finds falling to her knees on the chilly stone floor whilst pleading to a moon drenched sky, “please…tell me how i’m supposed to be aphrodite. please tell me how to love.”

it’s how artemis finds her. sooyoung is a shadow of her former self when she’s curled in the corner of her own shrine - eyes rimmed red and her porcelain features glossy with tear-tracks.

“artemis, do you think i’ll ever be deserving again?” sooyoung lays her head against artemis’ shoulder and they both gaze at the history of the heavens. it’s one that is written in splattered stars and that is comprised of sooyoung's ghosts.

pity decorates the goddess of the hunt’s face as dark eyes catch sooyoung's gaze, “memories ebb and flow, in a century they will have faded. the pain you feel now will be a mere scratch tomorrow.”

“i know i’m hardly the goddess of wisdom but sooyoung…try leaving olympus for once. you’ll never be able to understand true love whilst trapped in the confinements of olympus and its gilded semblance of perfection.”

the mortal world is a stark contrast to the semblance of perfection that olympus is constructed around. the skies flash angrily with jagged bolts of bright white and torrents of icy rain pour from storm clouds, their biting chill seeping painfully into her hunched figure. it serves as a reminder that sooyoung does not belong here; the cosmos resentful of her absence, furious at her audacity to settle for dismal mundanity that pales in comparison to the scorching radiance of the golden ichor which flows through her veins. 

i would face your anger a thousand times if it meant i would finally be free of the distortions of love which haunt my dreams. if i could finally understand how to love.

it's almost as if the fates had finally heard sooyoung because her wish is manifested in the soft thud of someone colliding into her, the slight brush of hands over her waist as the stranger attempts to steady them both. and then sooyoung is looking into copper eyes that blaze brighter than helios' flames; so different to the stygian ice that had glinted within adonis' gaze yet sooyoung’s chest fluttered with something that was painfully familiar. 

“shit! i’m so sorry, i should really watch where i'm going.”

"i'm sorry my lady, i should've been better." 

sooyoung has to inhale sharply. a sick, unplaceable sensation floods through her at the stranger's oblivion towards the effect they have; smiling so tenderly at sooyoung that she can practically hear the hastily mended fragments of her heart shatter once again.

“oh don’t worry about it. i probably should have been more aware of my surroundings too.”

“i’m jinsoul by the way. jung jinsoul…” 

“i’m sooyoung. it’s nice to meet you jinsoul,”

jung jinsoul. perhaps you might just be my salvation.

it’s through jinsoul that the fragile shards of sooyoung's heart begins to mend. spending time with jinsoul is the ease with which laughter fizzles and explodes within her chest. it’s waiting for jinsoul at her university campus with a flimsy cup of lukewarm coffee in her hands and the nervous scuff of her shoes against the pavement; night skies speckled with stars where her lips are curved into the softest of smiles whilst jinsoul’s head rests against her shoulder.

jinsoul’s smile is the delirious feeling of being soaked in sunlight, leaving a jolt of electricity that shoots through sooyoung and an affection that swelters in her stomach. jinsoul is sweet, her lips tasting of strawberries and chocolates; the feelings she has for sooyoung dripping from her lips like syrupy melted popsicles. and when sooyoung finally kisses her it tastes indistinctly of smoke and expensive champagne. sooyoung is content to allow the flames within jinsoul to consume her; content to drown in the molten sunlight that now runs through her veins.

you’re so pretty baby. who wouldn’t love you?

“but jinsoul,” sooyoung mumbles, “i only want your love.”

through jinsoul, sooyoung learns what love is, and it’s far from immaculate. it’s messy - fury and vulnerability clawing at her insides whilst sooyoung fights to catch her breath amidst all the barbed insults; waking up with tangled limbs in thin cotton sheets as sooyoung brushes her lips against the delicate curves of jinsoul’s collarbones in apology.

it’s hazy. there’s an unspoken fear about their future, after all jinsoul is a mortal and mortal life is delicate in its very nature, there’s no way of preventing it from perishing. it’s the first time that sooyoung'sheart stutters at the thought of losing a lover, something within her twisting and burning when she had previously been indifferent to the thought. but jinsoul knows her well and circles her arms around sooyoung's waist; whispers which contain the barest glimpse of a promise tickling at feverish skin as flecks of gold dance in jinsoul’s stare.

i want to remember every detail about you, sooyoung.

sooyoung forgets she’s aphrodite when she’s with jinsoul, her façade of perfection dissolving under the soft glow of fluorescent lights in jinsoul’s apartment. her eyes are half-lidded with exhaustion and her silken hair is nothing but a tousled mess but she can’t seem to bring herself to care, not when she’s inhaling the faint scent of jinsoul’s perfume as the shorter brunette twirls her around the kitchen.

and under the silvery moonlight with jinsoul’s face buried in the side of her neck, sooyoung thinks to herself, that she would give up everything if jinsoul asked her to. because sooyoung knows that she has found her home in this apartment, with the lazy warmth of sunlight enveloping the sleeping figure beside her.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry i've been having really bad writer's block but i hope you all enjoy this quick lil piece


End file.
